


Julian Kurniawan's Five Worst Pick-up Lines (and One That Is Not His, But Is Equally Bad)

by stardustandfantasies



Category: Padz and Friends (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Varsity Basketball Team, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 01:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15697503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandfantasies/pseuds/stardustandfantasies
Summary: A Compilation by Stella Pranata.Alternative Title: Stella Is So Done, and Julian Should Really Stop.





	Julian Kurniawan's Five Worst Pick-up Lines (and One That Is Not His, But Is Equally Bad)

**Author's Note:**

> PAF is not mine.

1:

They agreed that they should go on an art museum date; he wanted to appreciate the artwork, she wanted to take aesthetically pleasing, Instagram-worthy photos. But when they did go to an art exhibition, for some reasons he didn't want to stand near her.

When she asked him why, he said, “Stella, the rules clearly say ‘Do not get too near to the artworks.’ ”

They had not gone on any more art museum date since that.

* * *

2:

As children, they'd watched his older brother Keenan play basketball, their eyes wide with awe at the dynamics of this fascinating game with all its power and beauty and glory. As they grew up, they too progressed from admiring it, to loving it, to adopting it as a lifelong passion.

She had not intend to join a sports team in university, though, as her major was already demanding enough. But the men's basketball team, for which he played, needed a manager, and somehow he managed to convince her that she'd still be able to handle managerial duties.

In the end she did apply and get the job.

Not that she ever regretted it. In fact, she relish every moment of it. He knew that she loved this sport too much to leave it; that's why he'd got her back to it, and for that, she was grateful.

That did not justify his inexhaustible arsenal of lame basketball pickup lines. All of them were horrendous, but so far nothing was worse than that time when he said:

"Since we're in a basketball court now, why don't we start on our courtship?"

* * *

3:

One day, she didn't attend practice because of a family function. The next day, she saw him with a huge bruise on his left cheek.

"What happened to you?" It was purple and red—she winced just from looking at it. "Was it from yesterday's practice?"

"Oh, this?" Julian grinned. "I fell… I fell for you."

* * *

4:

“We're so lucky to have you as our manager,” Rico praised Stella as he looked in awe at her notes. They contained schedules for upcoming friendlies and competitions, training plans, and personalised skills development plans for each team member, among all. “It’s like you know everything about basketball.”

“Wait… I remember now,” Aldo said all of a sudden. “Stella, didn't you play in high school?”

“What?!” Rico's jaw had fallen so far, it might reach Australia soon. “You did?”

“Yeah. I did. How did you remember?” she asked Aldo. “I thought only Julian knew.”

“Did someone say my name?” The said person appeared behind Rico.

“You!” Rico, looking scandalised, shook his friend’s shoulders. “How come you never told us that Stella played basketball before?”

Julian cast a quick glance at Stella before replying, “Long story.”

“Why didn't you join the varsity girl's team?”

"Yeah, why? Wasn't your school's team good? I thought you guys were regional champion some years back?”

"I wanted to, but now I don't really have the luxury of time,” she bit her lower lip. “I can handle my managerial duties just fine, but I don't think I'd have the time and energy to play."

"Oh man, that's too bad.” Aldo shook his head.

“Sometimes life happens.” She shrugged. “Anyway, I'm here. I don't completely leave basketball, and you have a competent manager. It's a win-win situation for all of us.”

“But it's quite a waste…” Seeing her expression, Rico quickly added, “but if you enjoy what you're doing now then it's good!”

“What are you talking about? Of course I love yelling at you smelly, sweaty boys.”

She laughed it off, but she was quiet and more withdrawn for the rest of the practice. Unfortunately the word had spread and the other team members kept asking why she didn't play anymore.

When he drove her home, though, he took her hand in his and said, "I know you're upset, but don't worry. You may no longer play guard, but I believe you'll guard our future children well."

“You're so lame.”

But that did make her smile for the first time since practice.

* * *

5:

“This year we've got quite a lot of people signing up for tryouts, eh?” Eka commented as he skimmed through the signup sheets. The team was cleaning up their stand after the co-curricular activities exhibition, a part of the university's freshmen orientation.

“Yeah, more than last year." Rico turned to Stella with a teasing grin. “I think having you handling the signups really helped.”

"Why? Because I make the image of this team full of buff and tall guys less intimidating?"

“Maybe, but also because the freshmen were like ‘Whoa, the manager is hella cute.’ ”

“How dare they said that!” Out of nowhere Julian emerged, dramatically and angrily. “The nerve of it!”

"Whoa, chill, Bro—" Rico said, but Julian intervened:

"It didn't do Stella justice. She's not cute, she's _gorgeous_."

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry or join the rest of the team in making a what-the-hell-did-I-just-hear face.

“You two are the worst,” Raihan grumbled. “If you want to be disgusting, then get a room."

“You're just annoyed because you're single and miserable.”

“Shut up, Aldi.”

* * *

+1:

"In my defence, none of my pickup lines is even half as extra as what my dad said to my mum when they first met."

“What did he say?” she asked, even though she's pretty sure that she's going to regret asking.

“So, my mum's friend dragged her to a party, where my dad approached her, introduced himself, and said, 'I think it is very important to know each other before we start dating.’ ”

"…That sounds like something you'd do."

"Yeah, maybe in an alternate universe where we're not stuck together since time immemorial."

"I'd love to see how that universe is like."

"But even in another universe, I'll still choose you."


End file.
